What do you do when your birth deviates from your birth plan?

I've worked with a couple of families who have traveled back to Adelaide specifically for the birth of their baby.  Navigating a health-care system you aren't familiar with can add another level of uncertainty to your situation and may mean you are away from your family, friends or usual support network.

Hiring me as your doula provides you with a level of continuity of care and a support person who is there just for you and your family.

Thanks to Kate, Craig and their delightful daughter for sharing this with me.

​We recently hired Kelly as a doula for the birth of our first baby and she was phenomenal! We moved to Adelaide just 6 weeks prior to the birth and we were in search of someone who could provide continuity of care and support with a public hospital birth. She gave us that... and so much more! Our initial meetings with Kelly helped to inform our approach to the birth, allowed us to work through answers to many questions and left us feeling empowered. During labour, when our birth deviated from some of our original preferences, Kelly supported us in the process of making confident and informed decisions that were best for us and our baby. She has a kind nature, a calming presence and an open heart. If you are looking for a doula, Kelly is a dream to work with and we can't imagine our birth experience without her!

Thank you again for everything you did for us and our birth experience, you are a gem! If we make it back to Adelaide for baby #2 someday we will be ringing you up ;)  

Kate, Craig & Baby S
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As you can see from my client's own words, birth is unpredictable.  Sometimes it doesn't matter if you've taken all the classes, read all the books and blogs and even hired a doula.  Mother nature can have her own plans.  But what can you do when your birth takes an unexpected turn?

6 Things You Can Do When Your Birth Isn't Going To Plan

Everyone has some kind of plan, hopes, preferences or wishes for how they want the birth of their baby to go.  Which is great.  Hopefully it means that you've thought about your options and your family's values and made a communication document for your care provider.

If you're a client of mine, we will also talk through your back-up plans while you are still pregnant.  This includes what your preferences might be if you change your mind about something, pain relief for example, or if your body or baby have their own plans and you need to consider an instrumental or surgical birth.

So what can you do if your birth is deviating from your original plan?

1. Think about why you chose those options originally.  What was your motivation or goal?  Now, can you still achieve your "why" even if it looks a little bit different getting there?  Can you arrive at the same destination via a different journey?
2. If you are feeling disappointed, then there were expectations.  Examine your expectations.  Are they realistic in your particular situation?  Perhaps there have been changes to your circumstances but your expectations haven't evolved along with them. Have you put in the work that might be reasonably expected to achieve your expectations?
3. Ask the questions and get the information you need so that you feel comfortable with the new decisions you have to make.  What are the benefits and risks to you and your baby, now and in the future?  How will making this decision change how you are cared for?  For 10 great questions to ask during your pregnancy and labour, read this other post of mine.  You can also download and print a free copy to keep with you and refer to as needed.  
4. Take time to discuss your options with your support team once you feel you have enough information.  Unless it is an emergency, there is always time to think things through with your partner, doula or birth support.  Don't be afraid to ask the midwives or doctors to give you privacy while this happens.  
5. Ask for a second opinion if you want to.
6. Hopefully you've gone into labour knowing that the unexpected can happen and are prepared to be flexible.  Sometimes the randomness of birth prevails. This doesn't mean that you have to compromise on your values or your rights to autonomy and informed consent.

If you are interested in a birth planning session that covers all this and more, you can work with me here.  You'll soon see that I do things a little differently when it comes to birth plans and expectations!  Birth planning and coaching sessions are available to anyone and can be done over Zoom or Skype.  They can be single sessions to help you prepare for your birth.

This post is not intended to cover what to do if your birth has left you feeling traumatised in any way.  If you need support and resources for a bad birth, please use this link or the resources on Pinterest board below.