Hey there, Picture this - Its 10 o'clock in the morning. You're still in your milk-stained t-shirt that you crawled into bed with last night. Your cup of tea went cold hours ago cause you've been up since 5. You're hungry and tired and want a shower but your baby just won't settle unless you're holding her.
A lot of mornings have been like this since your partner went back to work.
Perhaps you're thinking that the baby blues are still hanging around? Is it normal that your baby seems to cry more now that Daddy isn't around during the day? Are those little grunts and groans from your newborn while they sleep something to worry about?
I so get that those feelings of uncertainty and constantly questioning yourself can be overwhelming. Let alone overwhelm paired with fatigue. The long nights rocking your baby, just waiting for the sun to rise as you all adjust to this new normal.
One of your friends (and her toddler) said they'd stop by for lunch and although you'd like the company, just the thought of how you're going to get dressed, take you and your baby to the shops for groceries and whip up something for lunch is adding to your exhaustion.
Never mind the fact that she's going to tell you (again!) that you should just put your baby down and let them cry themselves to sleep. It feels like she's only coming over to tell you what you're doing wrong and then she leaves.
Leaving you with her unwanted opinions. Leaving you feeling miserable. Leaving you with a pile of dishes in the sink, a trail of crumbs on the kitchen floor and mushed banana on the couch to clean up.
And a crying baby.
Ugghhh, it just all seems too hard. You text your friend to cancel, grab one of those boxes of chocolates you were gifted after baby's arrival and head for the couch. It's gotta get better right?
But what if instead of a "friend" knocking on your door, it was a postnatal doula like me?
What's it like working with a postnatal doula?
As you're sitting, feeding your baby and telling me honestly about the highs and lows of the last couple of days, I grab you a fresh glass of water and some dried fruits and nuts to snack on. Enough to keep the hunger gremlins at bay for a little while.
Once your baby is done feeding, I can hold him while you enjoy a herbal bath I've ran for you. The herbs I've added have been chosen to ease your aches and pains and help wash your worries away, knowing your son is being cared for while you have 20 luxurious minutes all to yourself without the mumma guilt.
Now that you're feeling refreshed, you can sit outside and enjoy the sunshine while I put a large pot of magical soup on to cook using the groceries I brought with me. . You can just sit and rest with your new bub. I'll clean your kitchen and do the dishes as I go. Then put the leftovers away for your family for another day.
When I'm visiting your house, there is no need to struggle with chasing your other children around while trying to get everything else done in the house. I won't expect that you can do everything whether you're a first-time mum or a seasoned mum. You deserve help or a rest or a break even if you are "used to it". There's also no need to feel like you have to manage a visitor in your house. I'll figure out your priorities and just get it done. No need for you to ask for help.
After lunch, everyone is looking sleepy so you and your baby head off for a nap. Heck, you might even manage to reach your 8 hour minimum for today!
I'll take your other kids outside with me while I hang out your washing. Together we might even take your dog for a walk and pick the toys up before quietly letting myself out the door. (I'll see you again at the end of the week)
When your partner gets home, they comment on how relaxed you look and you tell them you've had a good day.
You felt listened to. You had your questions answered and support given. Your mental load is a little lighter knowing that the basics have been taken care of around the house. Precious sleep was had. You're hydrated and nourished. And hey, there's even some magic soup for your partner after a long day at work, wishing they were home with their family.
As a qualified Postnatal Doula I have the unique privilege of sharing the journey your family takes after your baby is born. I provide high quality, one-to-one support to only two families each month so you can be assured I am available to fulfil my commitment to you.
THE BENEFITS OF A POSTNATAL DOULA
Research tells us that women who have support from a Postnatal Doula have:
Greater breastfeeding success
Less postnatal depression
Greater feelings of support for and from their partner, which can have a significant impact on their partner's own experience
Lower incidence of abuse than those who do not have a doula
Timely referrals to appropriate professionals and support groups
More understanding on what to expect from a newborn
Increased baby-soothing skills
Greater sense of bonding and communication with their newborn
Better coping skills
Every family can benefit from the support and encouragement I offer during the fourth trimester.
Kelly has been awesome and a big help to make things so much easier for me while I settle into being a mum of two.