My Fourth Trimester - by Emma My Fourth Trimester Project | Elemental Beginnings "It was after a long and arduous labor that we welcomed our first born earthside. A gorgeous perfectly healthy little bundle. We were grateful for this baby, we had lost our first pregnancy, and we were so very keen to become parents. Despite this I don’t ever remember feeling an immediate or overwhelming connection with our new baby. I remember a long and traumatic labor and birth, and a feeling of relief when it was finally over. I remember calling family and friends and rejoicing in our news, but never enjoying our newborn. He was taken straight after his birth and wrapped. I never offered him the breast, and no one suggested I should. I do remember feeling when I met him, that it felt like we had known each other forever, and I just couldn’t stop staring at our beautiful and perfect baby boy. I had read books and talked with family and friends, but nothing could have prepared me for bringing home our newborn. Everyone had an opinion on what we should do, but few felt right..... bottle feed him, let him cry, he must be in his own bed, walk him in a pram, don’t spoil him..... I know these things work for some, but these things never sat well with me. I felt like I was being flooded with advice, which instinctively I did not want to follow, and in turn began to feel like a failure as a mother and wife. I felt very quickly that I lost my identity as a person, and that I was ‘just’ a mum. I measured myself by others high standards. Everyone else seemed to cope so well, yet I felt I was spiraling into a sleep deprived out of control wreck. When our baby was 6 months old I chose to return to work, while my husband stayed home with our baby. A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant with our second baby. Fast forward to birth of baby number 2. A totally different experience again. Another beautiful baby boy. My baby is placed on my tummy immediately after birth, and I am encouraged and able to breast feed him straight away. I still feel like I am treading water (baby no. 1 is 17 months old when no. 2 is born), but somehow I make it through the early months. People don’t offer advice this time, though everyone has an opinion. I manage to feed this baby through to 12 months, we choose to co sleep from the start, and I wear this baby in a sling so that I can still tend the needs of my now toddler. I still don’t enjoy motherhood like I think I should, still feel like a failure, and I swear I will not have any more children. A few years later I change my mind. We decide to try for another baby. We sadly lost another pregnancy, but eventually fell pregnant again. We were overjoyed. The birth of this baby was healing and empowering for me. This time I had the confidence to do things differently, in the way that felt right for our family. I was confident enough to say exactly what would and wouldn’t happen at my baby’s birth, and I stood up for my rights. Our third born arrives earthside in a rush, and is not breathing when he is born. There is an agonising wait for the first cry, and after a few minutes it finally happens. We have another perfect little boy. We spend time having skin on skin, and I soak in his smell. We come home and I actually enjoy this baby. Every. Single. Minute. I am confident in my parenting decisions, and I know I am absolutely making the best choices for all of us. We co sleep, breast feed until nearly 3 years old, we parent gently........ it is amazing how different I feel about myself, my husband and our family. I don’t talk about our parenting choices with family or friends. I know that many of them won’t agree. It’s okay though. I feel confident enough to tell people when I don’t agree with them (in a polite way of course), and I am still confident about our choices, but it is isolating for me. Then, by pure chance I meet someone, and I discuss with her my feelings of isolation because of our parenting choices, she introduces me to a group of women who parent similarly. I have somewhere I can openly discuss our parenting choices. It is validating and empowering. I feel blessed and honoured to be having this parenting experience, to be enjoying my family and to be happy and healthy..... and then surprise, I am pregnant again. This baby was not what we had planned for our family. It puts a strain on our marriage, and takes us some time to get to the point of being okay about it. At first I felt a deep sense of shame, how could I be so stupid! Then I am upset, this was not in the plans, I have an awesome new job and life is perfect....... but we deal with it, and so, baby number four is born, a girl, birthed peacefully into water. A perfect birth. I am the first to touch our baby when I scoop her out of the water, and we have immediate skin on skin, just her and I with her daddy watching on. It is so surreal, and peaceful. Again, I am confident in my parenting. I now have friends who parent similarly. I can go to them if I need advice or support, and I know I will not be judged for my parenting choices. I am open about our choice to wear our baby, to co sleep and to breast feed. I talk to others about it, I am confident, and I know we are doing the very best for our family. Again I enjoy every minute of our new addition, but this time it feels like it’s going too fast! I secretly will time to slow down, but it doesn’t, so I start practicing living in the now. Now I marvel at how a baby can come into our lives, and not divide our love, but multiply it. I feel strong and confident in our parenting choices, and know we are doing what is right for our family. I honor my body and the 4 babies it has grown and birthed into this world. I understand that for mothers, feeling supported in our choices and connected to others is more important that living up to an ideal of how things should be. I understand that birth does matter, and that the trauma we suffer can go beyond the realms of understanding and affects our psyche in the deepest and most profound ways. Beyond this I have learnt that finding a place to belong, to be heard and be accepted is significant in our parenting journey. Having a village where we can be open and honest about where we are at, and where people can hold us when we need is important. A loving group of mummas also taught me how invaluable a weeks’ worth of home cooked meals is for a new mother and her family. My heart swells with great love and deep sorrow when I think about my first tiny newborn entering our realm. I am saddened that I did not have the strength or wisdom to enjoy his babyhood, and instead I wished it away. I also know that I am blessed through this experience. I was able to learn and grow, and begin to appreciate my children, husband and myself in such different ways. I have learned that time passed is time past, every moment of every day is a once in a lifetime moment. We can’t go back and change things, we can’t buy more time, but we can stop and smell the roses now. "  Photo credit: Pure Mint Photography About the Author Emma is a Mum of 4, wife, daughter, sister, friend. Dedicating her life to spreading kindness and raising gentle, compassionate and happy beings. Would you like to be part of the My Fourth Trimester Project? Your contribution needs to be between 250-1200 words and can include up to 2 pictures and 1 link to your personal website/blog in your bio.
Contact me through my website for submission details or more information. My Fourth Trimester - by BridieSo many aspects of pregnancy and birth were easy for me. We had just got married in February and decided to wait until after a friend's wedding in Thailand in the middle of the year before we started trying for a baby so that we could enjoy our last holiday as a couple. I'd been diligently tracking my cycle for a year as the pill made me angry and weepy and after a few people close to me had suffered infertility issues, I wanted to ensure I was on the right track. I never assumed I'd get pregnant so quickly, based on other people's experiences. We came home from our Thailand trip and I didn't have another period. I weed on a stick and sure enough....pregnant. My heartbeat swirled in my ears and I lost my breath as the realisation sank in. I had a dream pregnancy. There were no issues, I felt reasonably fit and I continued lifting weights and walking for most of the time. My blood pressure was 120/80 at every appointment and I didn't throw up once. I got a bit of fluid retention in the last fortnight, but still managed to go out and do things (like shop for a footstool to elevate my giant cankles!). I fully subscribe to the theory that pregnancy is not a disease, but acknowledge that I was very lucky and found that my body took it very well compared with others who have a very hard time. The birth was just as surprising as the pregnancy. I was overdue 40+5 and was scheduled for an induction, which I was terrified of, fearing the so-called 'cascade of intervention' believing it would end in an emergency c-section. As a first time mother, I was prepared that labour would take a while. I read Juju Sundin's Birth Skills, which was a great resource and I expected the 7+ hours of early labour complete with heavy breathing, waiting around and using a TENS machine. My baby and body had other ideas. I went to bed at midnight on Friday night and woke at 1am with pains, but nothing that felt like the whole torso contractions that the OB had told me about. It felt like period pain. It escalated quickly and with my water breaking in the car, my beautiful daughter was born naturally (delivered by midwives with no drugs or interventions) at 3:05am. With everything going so smoothly up to that point, I was utterly unprepared for the complexities and fear of baby care. We aren't in a society that teaches mothercraft anymore. Everything you learn is passed on through Google and hospital antenatal classes, which is just not enough to prepare you. I also never anticipated the heartache, frustration and sadness that would accompany breastfeeding for me. I'd been to a class provided by the Australian Breastfeeding Association, I'd had a natural birth, was fit and healthy and thought it would come as easily as conception, pregnancy and birth had. Midwives woke me to breastfeed to ensure my daughter gained weight and she didn't seem to be getting much, so they began expressing me by hand and pumping. She screamed so much one night that they offered to take her so I could get a rest. I now assume she was starving hungry due to our terrible latch and my insufficient supply. My milk didn't come in until around day 5 and my poor babe was so hungry that she was screaming around the clock. My Mum arrived, bearing two giant maternity bras to contain my swollen painful breasts and a dummy to quiet my poor fussing, screaming baby. I'll forever be grateful for her assistance on those first days. The engorgement got worse and was accompanied by cracked and bleeding nipples (which "aren't the worst I've seen" according to the lactation consultant) My husband ferried me and the baby to the lactation consultant about four times over the first month after we found that the baby had lost weight since discharge. I cried and sobbed my way through every painful feeding session. I told my husband that the pain wasn't the problem, after all, I gave birth with only two Panadol under my belt. The fact that it wasn't working and I couldn't nourish my baby made me feel useless, worthless and empty. Those feelings compounded and I was in tears every day. The inability to breastfeed when I'd so desperately wanted to, mixed with the complete upheaval of my orderly life where I was so in control and the amount of work (breastfeeding, bottle feeding and expressing) and the sleeplessness was absolutely shattering. On the upside, so many amazing women came out of the woodwork to empathise and let me know that the first six weeks can be hell and when you get through it, you will be ok. I still wish there wasn't a cone of silence around the difficulty of early motherhood. When I confessed to my Mum that "It feels like I'm looking after someone else's baby", she asked if I had postnatal depression. I took myself off to the doctor who was understanding and empathetic, with a young toddler herself. I said I didn't think I was clinically depressed, just extremely overwhelmed. She agreed, and asked me to come back for further management. I said to myself that if I still felt like this after a month then I'd go on medication. Week by week though, things got easier as I figured out what I was doing and begun to trust my own instincts and get to know my little girl. I wish I had sought out more support to help me after the baby was born. There are so many resources for pregnancy, but you can be largely left to your own devices with a new baby. My husband was a fantastic support and is a brilliant father. He was strong and capable in the face of my emotional breakdown, supporting and gently encouraging me. Having a baby has had its difficulties, but has ultimately made us a better couple. I couldn't have survived without him and it has deepened my love and respect for him in every way. My Mum said that the first 12 weeks are the hardest and I truly believe it. My baby girl first tentatively smiled at me at six weeks and has been developing her strong little personality ever since. I was amazed when they placed a screaming little bundle on my stomach as soon as she was born - I felt relief and awe, but not necessarily the intense rush of love that people describe. I think love grows over time as you learn to trust one another. Love is walking the pram and feeling like you'd rather be run over yourself than any harm come to your baby. Love is people questioning why your baby has red eyes (they're stork bites) and you feeling sad and protective and fierce. Love is doing the best you can every day to make the other person happy and I can now say that I feel happy to do that forever.  My Fourth Trimester Project | Collated by Elemental Beginnings  About The Author: Bridie is a mum, fitness enthusiast and chocolate connoisseur who blogs about random things that interest her to an audience that includes her Mum and a couple of friends at bridiemarie.com Would you like to be part of the My Fourth Trimester Project? Your contribution needs to be between 250-1200 words and can include up to 2 pictures and 1 link to your personal website/blog in your bio.
Contact me through my website for submission details or more information. My Fourth Trimester ~ by Beth  Lila's Birth I have known Beth for over 20 years since we started high school together (yeh that makes me feel old) and I'm so glad she shared her story with us. I might have to trade her some Throwback Thursday photos for her blog hehe "I spent my early 20s not entirely sure that I would ever have/want kids and I was okay with that. I like order, neatness, occasional alone time, reading, sleeping, a quiet home environment and kids aren’t generally (ever) conducive to those preferences, not mention the small issue of a massive aversion to poo and spew. Could be a problem. Then I met my husband and decided that having kids with this person might be quite nice so we decided to give it a go. For five years. Finally, after two rounds of IVF, a dream pregnancy where my worst symptom was grossly swollen feet and a calm and empowering elective c-section birth, we found ourselves at home with Lila Isobel, an Actual Live Baby. I still remember going in to her room to check on her and make sure she actually existed. Recovering from the c-section was okay. A little “grabby” with a bit of pain and stiffness from time to time. To this day I can still feel it if pressed in the wrong spot. Not being able to drive for the first six weeks was frustrating. I mean, I *could* have, but you do what you’re told, don’t you? Online shopping became even more of a thing than ever and I had the same Australia Post delivery driver on my doorstep every morning, delivering shopping or presents from various friends and relatives . . . I don’t think she ever saw me out of pyjamas either. As someone who had very little to do with babies in her former life, I went from never changing a nappy to being a dab hand. Mild gagging and eye-rolling pre-pregnancy at the very mention of touching someone else’s excrement became, “Ah, it’s just a little bit of poo.” Lila was a spewer from around four weeks old until she started solids properly at around 5 months. One of the best tips I read on Bub Hub prior to birth was to get a 12 pack of terry cloth nappies. We ended up having them strategically placed all around the house, lining her bed and bassinette and in the nappy bag. I still use them today as mini towels and household cloths. It’s something I pass on to every new mum I know. Preach! Breastfeeding never really felt like it was working properly, except when I was in the lactation consultant’s office with a pair of extra hands to help and a decent chair. In the hospital, I pumped and fed with formula top-ups, trying to wring out that colostrum and get whatever we could into her. It hurt like a bastard, I was taking Motillium to improve supply, I felt nausea and dread along with the let-down and worried that she wasn’t getting enough because I wasn’t doing it right. We eventually got into the routine of feeding, expressing and topping up which helped me when my husband could take over a couple of the night feeds. At three months we moved to full formula feeding and a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. Settling was mildly challenging in the early days and sleep became a tradeable commodity in our house. I remember one night I noticed she was content to suck on a bottle which, unbeknownst to me at the time, had a blocked teat so she wasn't drinking and then settled to sleep. So the next morning when she fussed after feed, change, burp etc. I tried a dummy and she took to it happily and sucked to sleep. Although I would have been happy to avoid dummies if we could, I also want her to be soothed and settled. Now - at 2 and a bit years old - this approach is ongoing although now we’re trying to keep her off it during the day and use it only for bed time. One thing we also struggled with was keeping her under wraps, literally. She would fight to wriggle her hands out to have them up by her head, just like she was in utero. A friend of mine lent me a Love To Swaddle Up suit with the wings. That night, she slept through for the first time, which is why I quite often give one as a baby shower gift! Share the love (and the sleep!!) My husband went back to work after four weeks off and I was anxious about being on my own during the day and not looking forward to it. He was proactive, hands-on and helpful – how was I going to survive on my own? During those first weeks, I felt frazzled - as though I had done nothing all day yet had no time to do anything. I felt the need to frantically run around and do housework the minute she nodded off, had no time to eat, shower or look after myself and just felt overwhelmed at the thought of "this is my life now". Then I remember having a really good day, like I'd not only got a lot done but also interacted well with her. I was worried it was all just feed, burp, change, settle, sleep with no "play" or stimulation, so I made an effort to show her some toys, lay her on her mat and hang out. I can do this! I thought. Sundays would loom up with the feeling of “What am I going to do all week?” so I made the effort to get out and about each day. We would go to appointments and visit friends and relatives. We regularly walked to the shops, post office, McDonald's, service station or just around the block. I didn’t suffer post-natal depression or really bad anxiety but there were times when I felt completely overwhelmed, like I had no idea what I was doing, that I was struggling and just needed some reassurance and support. Luckily, I had my mother-in-law to visit and my own mother, who lived three hours away, came down often – once for a whole week – just to be there. This made a huge difference. I also had a good friend who had a baby 8 months prior to me who was my go-to expert and delivered helpful advice in a keeping-it-real format. I didn’t join a mother’s group but did go to a few coffee mornings and Mums and Bubs yoga. It was good for the company (if not almost unbearably polite and stilted once we got past the swapping of birth stories) but I found myself stressing internally if she cried. I worried about being judged. To this day, I still feel a bit clumsy with prams and bags and all the things that go along with toting a child. I know it's silly to feel embarrassed about collecting a doorway with the pram wheel but there you are. I also give less side-eyes and more sympathetic smiles to people with fractious kids (unless they’re deliberately being terrors, in which case, *full glare*). There was a point where everyone I spoke to - family, friends, strangers - wanted to know if we were going to have another baby. (I’m talking like when Lila was about seven weeks old). It took about a year to fully decide that we would be stopping at one. Although I have learned a lot, done much better than I thought and Lila is a great kid, we feel our family is complete at three. My overarching feeling about having Lila is one of luck. Lucky to have access to and afford the IVF process, lucky for it to work so quickly, lucky to have a good pregnancy, lucky to have the birth I wanted at the hospital we chose. Lucky that Lila was and is a generally healthy, happy little girl. Lucky for the ongoing support from family, friends and the healthcare system. Lucky for the workplace flexibility that allows me to work 3 days per week. Just plain lucky."  Miss Lila  About the Author: Beth is a thirty-something suburban mum and part-time executive assistant who blogs about life, style, beauty and the never-ending pursuit of cute at www.almostposh.com Would you like to be part of the My Fourth Trimester Project? Your contribution needs to be between 250-1200 words and can include up to 2 pictures and 1 link to your personal website/blog in your bio.
Contact me through my website for submission details or more information. My Fourth Trimester Project - by Kelly Today's story in the My Fourth Trimester Project comes from guest writer Kelly Bauer and brought tears to my eyes when I read it. To find out more about depression and anxiety, available treatments and where to get help in your local area please speak with your care provider or Beyond Blue  Image credit: holohololand "This may sound strange, but when I was pregnant with my son I never really envisioned what it would be like once he was here. Sure, I made the nursery and bought all the things we’d need and I was thrilled to meet him. I sang songs to my belly and kept a journal just for him, documenting my thoughts and feelings through pregnancy and his childhood, to give to him some day. It’s not as though I wasn’t excited, or that he wasn’t wanted. He was a planned baby, longed for and much wanted. What I hadn’t done though, was imagine how he would fit into our lives. I’d envisioned his face, holding him, loving him, snuggling him, but I didn’t envision the pain from breastfeeding, or how I would feel when I went back to work when he was only 6 weeks old. I’d imagined him, but not his impact on the world my husband and I had already created. I didn’t understand how much it would change, and how difficult it would be for me. My 4th Trimester was a tough lesson to this effect. My son, Silas Arlo, was born on a warm April day in Illinois. Unseasonably warm, in fact. He was gorgeous, healthy and everything we ever could have hoped for. My labor was long, but mostly uneventful and, since here was our healthy, happy boy, no one realized that something very wrong was happening – to me. I did not sleep for nearly 36 hours after my son was born. Anyone who has had a baby will know that this is almost unfathomable. However, when you have Postpartum Anxiety and you’re afraid that sleeping will cause your baby to stop breathing – you stay awake. Nearing my 36th hour of hyper-alertness I began to suffer symptoms of exhaustion. My blood pressure raised (we were still in the hospital due to Silas having slight jaundice), I began to have chills, and irrational panic started to set in. My son was crying at one point and I couldn’t determine what he wanted, so I called the nurse in. She asked me if I’d checked his diaper. I had not, and sure enough, he’d passed his first bit of meconium and needed a change. I was mortified that such an obvious thing had slipped by me. I worried and that worry has been my primary emotion for almost 3 years. Unfortunately, due to so much misinformation, it took almost 3 years to get a postpartum anxiety diagnosis. More on that later, though. Eventually, we went home where I was able to rest a little in between breastfeeding every 2-3 hours. The next 3 months are a blur of ecstatic joy, fear, tears, frustration, awe, love and more joy. The pain I felt with breastfeeding was unbearable at times. I survived the first weeks of breastfeeding with the help of lanolin ointment, my brilliant and amazing husband who always knew the right thing to say and the right way to comfort or encourage, and the words of my mother-in-law’s best friend, which turned out to be some of the best advice I was given when it came to breastfeeding. She told me to “just give it 5 weeks, I promise it gets better”. So, when I was sobbing on the couch at 2am with cracked and bleeding nipples, I repeated that advice to myself. I promised myself that I would take her advice and give it at least 5 weeks before I gave up. Miraculously, at 5 weeks it got so much better that I could have kissed her. What was once something I dreaded, became the beautiful bonding experience that I always thought it was supposed to be. The pain stopped, our latching got better, and it just started working. We were able to breastfeed until almost his first birthday when I took some cough drops for a cold which contained menthol. I didn’t realize that menthol can devastate milk supply and it completely dried me up. No amount of fenugreek or oatmeal helped me to regain my supply. I’m happy with what we had, though. I’m sure 5 weeks is a relative number, but she couldn’t have been more exact for me. So now, when I have friends who come to me for help or advice, I tell them to “just wait 5 weeks, or somewhere around there, I promise it gets better.” Try to remember that even the longest nights are only moments, and they will pass. The last 4th trimester hurdle for me was my return to work. In the U.S. it’s unfortunately often expected or required, for moms to return to work after 6 weeks. Though I desperately wanted more time at home, and in fact would much prefer to be a stay at home mother, we could not afford for me to take any more time off, much less for me to quit work altogether. So at 6 weeks, I returned to work. We had researched and interviewed extensively for our childcare provider and ended up with a licensed home day care practitioner whom we love and trust. She encouraged me, before going back to work, to bring him by for just an hour a few times while I went to get lunch with my husband. It allowed her to have some time with him and allowed me to get used to the idea of him being there. The first time I dropped him off, I cried all the way to my husband’s office. The next few times were easier, and when I went back to work the first time, she spent the day texting me pictures of him and little updates. Her kindness and encouragement carry me through the days, even now. Anxiety for me has been the real beast. I am still in talk-therapy to deal with my anxiety, which surfaced almost the moment my son was born, and things are much better now. I realize now that much of the terror and anxiety I felt in the 4th Trimester and indeed for the last 3 years, were not normal “mommy fears”, nor was it “baby blues”. I’ve never been depressed, and I don’t have Postpartum Depression, for that is not the only mood disorder that new mothers can experience, it’s just the most widely known. I encourage new mothers to talk about how they feel. It can be hard to determine what is normal and what isn’t normal in such an emotional time. So, be vocal about where you are at emotionally, mentally and physically, and if something doesn’t feel right, seek the help of a professional. A great resource, which helped me tremendously, is http://www.postpartumprogress.com The 4th Trimester was a reality check for me, as it is I believe for most mothers. We owe it to each other to be honest about how it can feel, and then to encourage, nurture and hold up our sisters as they experience the rawness of joy, but also the confusion and vulnerability that is so common for this time. It is a beautiful, wonderful moment, but mothers should know that it’s okay for it to be scary and hard, too."  About the Author: Kelly Bauer, 29 year old Mama to Silas, Step-Mama to Caiden and Freelance Writer in the Chicago area Find me on Twitter @kbauerwrites Would you like to be part of the My Fourth Trimester Project? Your contribution needs to be between 250-1200 words and can include up to 2 pictures and 1 link to your personal website/blog in your bio. Contact me through my website for submission details or more information.
My Fourth Trimester Project - by PiaWelcome to the first guest post in the My Fourth Trimester Project. A chance for parents to share their stories and have their voices heard about those first three months as a parent. I hope you take heart in the honesty and courage they show. Know that you aren't alone - we aren't meant to parent alone.  Breastfeeding is probably the biggest fourth trimester challenge in many ways. It was overwhelming, I remember my Mum telling me it gets easier. I didn't believe her until well after it was. My first baby girl, Aila wasn't able to breastfeed until her 12th day on Earth, prior to this we had been doing tube feeds, I still took pride in learning how to do them myself – but the delayed start certainly made our breastfeeding relationship harder to establish. Conversely, Soren was pulled from me and lifted straight onto my bosom and he immediately started to root around to nurse. I didn't enjoy it in the way I thought I would, breastfeeding can be uncomfortable at first; and for a natural act, felt entirely unnatural. Even though I never learned to love breastfeeding in the way some women do, I cherish having the privilege to support my children physically and emotionally this way and take pride in supporting them through to toddlerhood. Emotionally there were a lot of ups and downs in that fourth trimester, and there were some stand out things I recall as helpful. Having supportive family and partner was the biggest. The simple act of being offered a drink while feeding a baby who is always feeding made me feel considered, even if I didn't want one. Encapsulating the placenta from my second child was also helpful and I felt helped to keep me 'level' and have more to give to my older child. Having wholesome food in the freezer, never resorting to 'junk' food I felt helped my body recuperation quicker. Having a positive line of communication with my partner to be able to discuss and debrief about the process of birth was also very nurturing. Baby wearing was key, particularly with my second when there was less time to just be and hold each other. When it was quiet, I remember looking down, awestruck at these tiny little faces, and the sensation of melting into them. Bonding with them, and learning who they are. I know that sounds idealistic, but it really was joyful, transcendental. I am so grateful I had the foresight to trust the process of learning to become a Mother. I think what makes the fourth trimester so unique is that it can be the best and worst of things all at once, a rite of passage in contrast. In retrospect I recall the long and unending process of falling in love with my children and my husband and myself in a new way. Feeling vulnerable, but also nurtured. Feeling tired, but satisfied, guilty and absolved. The sweet smell of milk and fresh baby and full arms and heart and emerging stronger than I knew I had the capacity to be."  Aila & Soren "I can still smell the clary-sage, the fenugreek and pots of soup like it was yesterday and a lifetime ago all at once. Looking back at the fourth trimester of my children's lives feels a bit like a dream, everything was so intense for a while, but at some point, the fog started to lift and I was left with the most stunning, beautiful children. A newly defined idea of myself and who I am as a Mother, and a stronger union with my life partner as we walk down this road together... I found the physical and emotional healing of the fourth trimester, nothing short of transformational. I really do consider this as the time I stopped being a girl and became a woman. I had births that couldn't have been more different, my first baby was early and sick, she was born via emergency cesarian and our stay in hospital spanned weeks. My second child was born via VBAC, it was all, normal – text book. Whilst I wouldn't describe either scenario as 'traumatic', it would be remiss to suggest the first experience didn't impact my feelings of the second. And the first little while with my children in my life, was challenging. Most notably, when my second was born, I felt the sense that I needed permission to hold, touch and feed him. My own Mother said I would get to where I wanted to be as a Mum, that there was no right or wrong way to feel and no time line I needed to feel it.  About the Author: My name's Pia, I'm 26 and have two gorgeous children, Aila & Soren and I live with my husband Ben in the Adelaide Hills, I have a natural parenting / vegan family blog on facebook called Kindred Freedom Would you like to be part of the My Fourth Trimester Project? Your contribution needs to be between 250-1200 words and can include up to 2 pictures and 1 link to your personal website/blog in your bio. Contact me through my website for submission details or more information.
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About MeKelly Harper is the owner of Elemental Beginnings Doula & Placenta Services in Adelaide. She provides sleep consultancy, placenta encapsulation and doula services to families during pregnancy, birth and in their fourth trimester. 
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