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Rekindling Connection: Nurturing Your Relationship After Baby Arrives

28/2/2025

 
Blog from Elemental Beginnings Adelaide Doula - Nurturing Your Relationship After Baby Arrives

​After working with many, many different families over more than a decade as a postnatal doula, I've witnessed one universal truth: the arrival of a tiny human fundamentally transforms your relationship. It's perhaps the most significant shift couples face, yet often the least discussed aspect of new parenthood. Time and again, I've watched as partners struggle to find each other amid the chaos of 2 am feeds, sleep deprivation and never-ending nappy changes.
Bringing a baby into your world is a monumental shift - one that changes routines, sleep patterns, and, inevitably, your relationship dynamics. You and your partner are now co-captains of a tiny, demanding, adorable ship, and it's easy to let your connection take a back seat. But staying connected as a couple doesn't have to mean extravagant date nights or grand romantic gestures (though we won't say no to those!).

Through years of supporting couples through this transition, I've discovered that often, the little things make all the difference. Here are some strategies I've seen work time and again for the couples who not only survive the newborn phase but actually strengthen their bond through it.

1. Communicate Like You’re on the Same Team
Your can’t read each other's minds - no matter how much you wish you could. Open, honest communication about what you need (be it help with the baby, buying a present for the grandparents, or just a hug) can prevent unnecessary resentment from building up.
Need ten minutes of alone time? Say it.
Want them to take over bath duty? Ask.
The clearer you both are about your needs, the easier it is to meet in the middle.
Bonus Tip: During pregnancy, practice the art of clear communication - asking clearly, truly listening to your partner's response, and honoring the agreed outcome. Developing this muscle memory for respectful requests and authentic responses before sleep deprivation hits is invaluable, especially if these skills aren't already second nature in your relationship. These small moments of genuine connection create a foundation of mutual respect that will sustain you through the foggy newborn days.

2. Nighttime Navigation: A Game Plan Saves Sanity
Sleep deprivation is the ultimate relationship stress test. Discuss in advance how you’ll manage night-time care - who's on duty when, dividing responsibilities based on who’s working the next day, calling in reinforcements (hello, postnatal doula!), what your feeding plan looks like, and what to do if one of you is struggling. Especially if you’re breastfeeding, having a plan for your partner to support you (like bringing you snacks or taking over nappy changes) makes a difference. The key is teamwork, not tally-keeping.

3. Time Together Might Look Different - And That’s Okay
Gone are the days (for now) of spontaneous getaways or uninterrupted movie marathons. But connection doesn’t have to mean elaborate plans. Sharing a favourite meal on the couch, a quick foot massage for the parent feeding the baby, taking a walk together with baby at sunset or sending a thoughtful text during the day can keep the spark alive. 

4. Small Gestures, Big Impact
Leaving a sweet note on the fridge before you go to work, bringing your partner a cup of tea, or simply saying “I see you, and I appreciate you” can go a long way. Sometimes, it’s these little acts of kindness that keep you feeling like a team.
Bonus Tip: Use each other's love language to really hit home in these tiny moments of connection.

5. Create Mini Moments of Self-Care
When your partner encourages you to take time for yourself, it’s a love language of its own. Whether it’s a solo walk, a long shower, or an uninterrupted coffee break, supporting each other’s self-care helps both of you show up as better, more patient parents and partners. Give each other permission to recharge. These moments don’t have to be long to be effective, but they do need to be intentional. It’s also important to have a conversation with each other about how these moments are balanced - one parent shouldn’t be getting a ten-minute shower while the other enjoys an hour at the gym...
Scheduling these breaks into a shared calendar can help ensure both parents get the time they need without resentment creeping in.

6. Resolve the Little Frictions Before They Snowball
Household chores and mental loads can hit different when you're running on two hours of sleep and mysterious stains on your shirt. Make a list of what needs to get done and divide it fairly (or outsource if possible). Removing small annoyances - like always being the one to remember birthdays and important dates, or the eternal mystery of whose turn it is to empty the bin that everyone suddenly develops amnesia about - frees up energy for what really matters.
Bonus Tip: Want to avoid the "I didn't know that was my job" conversations that seem to multiply faster than laundry? I bring Fair Play cards to our postnatal planning sessions. They're fantastic conversation starters that help couples distribute the mental load before baby arrives. 

7. Make Room for Affection (Even if It’s Not What It Used to Be)
Being touched out is real, and sometimes, after a day of holding a baby, physical closeness is the last thing you may want. Both partners need to understand this is normal and temporary. When one of you feels overwhelmed by physical contact, respect that boundary without taking it personally. Physical affection doesn't have to be grand gestures - it can be a quick kiss, a back rub, or even a "thinking of you" text when you're apart. Small acts of love still count, and patience from both sides allows intimacy to return naturally when you're both ready.

8. Don’t Let Baby vs. Partner Become a Competition
It’s easy to feel torn between your baby’s needs and each other. The reality? It’s not an either-or situation. Prioritising your baby doesn’t mean your relationship has to suffer. It’s easy for all conversations to revolve around your tiny human, but try to make space for non-baby topics too. Share funny stories, listen to the band you both like, vent about your day, or talk about something not related to sleep schedules. Keeping your identity as a couple beyond parenting is important.​

How a Postnatal Doula Can Help Keep the Love Alive
Parenting is a wild ride that can leave even the strongest couples feeling like ships passing in the night.

This is where a postnatal doula (like me!) becomes your relationship's secret weapon. By offering practical support - whether it's meal prep, baby care guidance, or just holding your little one while you both collapse for a much-needed nap - I help create breathing room for your connection to thrive.

Before baby even arrives, my antenatal session can include conversation starters that help couples tackle the "who does what" discussions in a fun, judgment-free way. These seemingly simple conversations about mental load distribution become emotional lifelines when you're both functioning on minimal sleep.

My role isn't just about supporting your baby journey; it's about preserving the foundation of your family: your relationship. I'll help tackle the practical overwhelm so you can enjoy those precious newborn moments while still recognizing each other beneath the spit-up-stained shirts. Every new parent deserves support, and every couple deserves to stay connected - even in the sleep-deprived haze of new parenthood.

Want to discover how my postnatal support can help keep the love alive? Let's chat about creating a postpartum plan that nurtures your baby AND your relationship. Because sometimes, the most romantic gesture isn't flowers - it's someone showing up with a home-cooked meal and the magic ability to soothe your baby while you reconnect with the person you fell in love with.

What Can A Postnatal Doula Do With You?

21/1/2025

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An older sibling holding their newborn baby sibling, highlighting the support a postnatal doula can provide in fostering positive sibling bonds and easing the transition to life with a new baby.
What Can a Postnatal Doula Do for You?
Every family’s postpartum experience is unique, and as a postnatal doula, my role is to provide personalised support for you, your baby, and your household. If you’re wondering what a postnatal session might look like, here’s a list of ways I can help:

Emotional Support
- Provide a listening ear and a safe, non-judgmental space to share your feelings.  
- Celebrate your wins and acknowledge the challenges of this new phase.  
- Offer reassurance and guidance through common postpartum concerns.  
- Gently check in on your mental health and well-being.  

Sibling Support
- Help your older child adjust to life with a new baby.  
- Share ideas for activities to keep siblings entertained and engaged.  
- Suggest ways to foster a positive sibling bond from the start.  
- Support you in managing sibling emotions or jealousy.  

Household Help
- Lighten your load with practical tasks like tidying, folding laundry, or organising baby supplies.  
- Prepare nutritious meals or snacks to keep you nourished.  
- Run small errands, such as picking up groceries or essentials.  
- Help create a more organised and calming home environment.  

Infant Care Guidance
- Support you with feeding, whether breastfeeding, bottle-feeding, or a combination.  
- Offer tips for soothing and settling your baby.  
- Share baby-wearing techniques to keep your hands free.  
- Discuss developmental milestones and age-appropriate activities.  

Sleep Support
- Explore gentle routines that work for your family’s unique rhythm.  
- Provide tips to optimise your baby's sleep as they grow.  
- Suggest calming bedtime routines for yourself or your older children.  
- Give you time to rest by caring for your baby while you nap or recharge.  

Outings and Moral Support
- Accompany you on outings to provide moral support and an extra pair of hands.  
- Help with baby’s 6-week check-up and vaccinations, mum’s 2-week GP check-up, or other appointments.  
- Join you for baby song sessions at the library, local playgroups, or neighbourhood walks.  
- Provide encouragement and practical assistance as you gain confidence leaving the house with your baby.  

Nurturing You
- Encourage self-care and create opportunities for you to relax.  
- Offer treatments like a foot soak, herbal baths, or simply holding the baby so you can shower or unwind.  
- Bring you a cup of tea, a comforting snack, or something to brighten your day.  
- Help you find time for things that are important to YOU and bring you joy

Supporting Your Relationships
- Help navigate changes in your relationships, whether with a partner or extended family.  
- Offer strategies for sharing the mental and physical load at home.  
- Facilitate discussions about support roles and teamwork during the postpartum period.  

Preparing for the Future
- Help you plan for milestones like starting solids or returning to work.  
- Support you in organising routines or meal prepping to ease your load.  
- Discuss ways to maintain your well-being as your baby grows.  

Connecting You to Resources
- Recommend local groups, activities, or online communities for parents.  
- Share helpful resources like books, podcasts, or classes.  
- Introduce you to tools or professionals that might benefit your postpartum journey.  



Every session is tailored to what you need on the day—whether it’s practical help, emotional reassurance, or simply a moment of calm. My goal is to lighten your load and help you feel confident, cared for, and supported as you navigate life with your new baby.

Have questions or want to know more? Let’s chat and explore how I can help make your postpartum period a little easier.  
Chat with Kelly
As a postnatal doula in Adelaide, my role is to provide emotional, practical, and informational support for you and your family during the postpartum period. Please note that my services do not include medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult your healthcare provider or medical professional for any concerns about your or your baby’s health. My goal is to complement your care by providing non-medical support tailored to your unique needs.
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Doula Support for NDIS Participants

9/1/2025

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Navigating pregnancy, birth, and the postnatal period can be a transformative yet challenging experience for anyone. For individuals accessing the National Disability Insurance Scheme (NDIS), having the right support tailored to your unique needs is essential. Elemental Beginnings' Doula services offer emotional, physical, and informational support, empowering you every step of the way.
​
A pregnant woman lying on her side in bed, supported by pillows. She is wearing comfortable clothing, creating a calm and restful environment during pregnancy.

What is a Doula and How Can They Help?
A doula provides non-medical, holistic support tailored to your birth journey. This can include:

Prenatal Support: Preparing for birth, building a birth plan, and understanding your options.
Birth Support: Providing advocacy and nurturing care during labour and birth.
Postnatal Support: Assisting with recovery, newborn care, and emotional wellbeing.

Doula Support Within the NDIS
Many NDIS participants don’t realise that doula services can complement their NDIS goals. If your plan focuses on improved daily living, community participation, or capacity building, doula support can align with these outcomes.

For Self-Managed and Plan-Managed Participants

Self-Managed Clients: You have the flexibility to engage doula services directly.
Plan-Managed Clients: Your plan manager can approve invoices for doula services, ensuring they fit within your allocated funding.

I have worked with both types of NDIS clients and plan managers and know how to invoice my services for your needs.

How Doula Support Aligns with Your NDIS Goals
Here are some examples of how doula care can enhance your NDIS journey:

Building Independence: Learning newborn care skills to feel confident in your parenting journey.
Promoting Wellbeing: Reducing stress and anxiety during pregnancy and birth with emotional support.
Increasing Capacity: Assisting with recovery and adjusting to life with a newborn.
An infographic provided by Disability Maternity Care showing the pregnancy journey of an NDIS participant. The graphic outlines key steps, including prenatal appointments, medical tests, and planning sessions, with accessible icons representing each stage. The design features bright, clear colours and a clean layout, ensuring readability for individuals with visual impairments.
The pregnancy journey for NDIS participants, highlighting key appointments, tests, and planning stages.
How do I work with you?

Every family’s journey to parenthood is unique, and my role as a doula is to provide inclusive, person-centred care that honours your individual needs and preferences. With experience supporting NDIS clients, I adapt my approach to ensure that every person feels fully supported throughout pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period.

I provide accessible communication and resources for all my clients, including online learning materials in various formats such as written guides, videos, and audio recordings. During our prenatal appointments, I bring written materials and hands-on teaching tools like a doll and pelvis to help you visualise and practise for birth. While my Auslan is limited to the alphabet, I strive to ensure all communication is clear and accessible, adapting where needed.

Every client I work with has in-depth discussions with me to plan their care. These conversations allow us to create a birth and postnatal plan that reflects your preferences and needs, and I help you to advocate for these choices with your care team. By working closely with you, I aim to reduce stress, foster confidence, and help you feel prepared and supported every step of the way.

We collaborate to explore options and tools that align with your capabilities. This may include practicing different labour positions during pregnancy and advocating for the use of supportive accommodations like shower chairs, wheelchairs, or accessible cribs in hospital settings. My goal is to ensure your comfort and safety while enhancing your parenting journey.

I take the time to understand your capabilities or triggers and discuss strategies to minimise risks. I can meet with your medical team, allied health providers and support workers to ensure everyone is aligned on the best approach for managing your needs during pregnancy and birth.  Most of all, I trust my clients.  You are the expert on you!

My services are flexible and accessible, with prenatal and postnatal care delivered in the comfort of your home. I am also available to attend appointments and provide hospital support during birth or whenever needed.

I believe that every individual deserves to feel respected, valued, and supported as they navigate this profound life transition. By tailoring my care to your unique circumstances, I aim to create a nurturing environment where you can feel confident and in control of your journey.

How to Get Started
Whether you’re self-managed or plan-managed, I’m here to help you explore how doula support can enrich your pregnancy and parenting journey. Contact me today to schedule a no-obligation phone or Zoom chat and discuss how I can support you.
BOOK A FREE CALL WITH KELLY


​If you’re looking for additional support or information, the following resources can help you navigate pregnancy, birth, and parenting with a disability. These trusted organisations and guides are designed to empower parents with practical advice, accessible tools, and advocacy to ensure a positive and inclusive journey into parenthood.
  • Disability Maternity Care – Resources and support for parents with disabilities during pregnancy 
    https://disabilitymaternitycare.com/parents-and-families
  • National Research Centre for Parents with Disabilities - Parenting tips and strategies from parents with disabilities
    heller.brandeis.edu/parents-with-disabilities/support/parenting-tips-strategies/index.html

Author

As a doula with years of experience supporting families from all walks of life, I am passionate about providing inclusive, person-centred care during pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period. I have had the privilege of working with individuals navigating different abilities.  My goal is to create a safe, nurturing, and accessible environment for every client, helping you to feel seen, heard, and supported throughout your journey.

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The Power of Doula Support: A First-Time Mum’s Journey with Elemental Beginnings

19/12/2024

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Pregnancy and birth are life-changing experiences, and every family deserves to feel supported, informed, and cared for during this special time. Recently, I had the privilege of working with a lovely first-time family here in Adelaide. Her story beautifully illustrates why having a doula by your side can make all the difference.

Here’s what she had to say about her experience with Elemental Beginnings:
​I can't express enough gratitude for our doula, Kelly from Elemental Beginnings. She was our unicorn, and anyone fortunate enough to have her will experience a better pregnancy and birth.

From pregnancy to postpartum, her support has been incredible. As a first-time mumma, with limited family support and our own ideas of what we wanted out of the experience, Kelly made me feel confident and prepared, easing my excitement, nerves and fears. She is kind, loving, knowledgeable and a strong presence that truly made a difference in my birth experience.

During labor, Kelly was like magic, providing reassurance and strength even when our plans changed. After our daughter was born, her home visits were invaluable, helping me start motherhood feeling powerful and supported.

If you need a doula, I can't recommend Kelly enough. She's amazing, and I know I'll want her for any future pregnancies. Thank you for such a positive experience! Xx
Preparing for a Calm and Confident Birth
​One of the most rewarding parts of working with this family was helping them feel confident and prepared for labour. During our prenatal sessions in Adelaide, we practiced different positions, breathing techniques, and coping strategies to help them feel ready for the big day. Watching their confidence grow as we worked through their birth plan was truly special.
A couple practising labour positions and coping strategies during a prenatal session with Kelly from Elemental Beginnings in Adelaide.
Practising labour positions and coping strategies during a prenatal session with Kelly
Support when plans change
Birth doesn’t always go to plan, and that’s okay. My role as a doula is to provide reassurance, guidance, and a steady presence no matter what unfolds. For this family, having someone to lean on during labour helped them navigate the experience with strength and calmness—even when things didn’t go exactly as expected.

Postnatal Doula Care for a Smooth Transition
The care I provide doesn’t stop after the baby is born. For this family, our postpartum visits at home were an essential part of their journey. My basic birth support package can include up to three postnatal visits, designed to help parents feel ready to rejoin the world after emerging from their birth bubble. During these visits, we focus on recovery, emotional wellbeing, and adjusting to life as new parents. Watching this family embrace parenthood feeling prepared and supported was such a joy.

Why Choose Elemental Beginnings?
Whether you’re preparing for your first baby or growing your family, having the right support can transform your experience. My personalised doula services are designed to help you feel confident, informed, and nurtured every step of the way.

If you’re searching for a doula in Adelaide, I’d love to chat about how I can support you. From birth preparation to labour and postnatal care, I’m here to make your journey as smooth and positive as possible.

Book Your Free Vibe-Check Call Today
Choosing the right doula is an important decision, and I’d love to start with a no-obligation phone vibe-check to explore how I can support you and your family. Contact me today to take the first step towards a calm, confident, and supported pregnancy and birth experience.

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Pregnancy, Birth & Parenting Books in my Library

15/4/2020

 
I have a bunch of books in my office that clients are welcome to borrow.  Please let me know if you are interested in reading any of them.  I do ask for a $20 fully refundable deposit for any item I lend out just in case they don't come back and I need to replace them =)

Subjects include:
  • Pregnancy
  • Birth
  • Parenting
  • Pregnancy Loss
  • Postpartum Depression
  • Breastfeeding
  • Sleep
  • Birth Trauma

Click on the thumbnail to see the full cover and scroll through the other books
Cover of book "New active Birth" by Janet Balaskas.  A concise guide to natural childbirth.  Available to borrow by clients of Elemental Beginnings Adelaide
Cover of book 'Your Amazing Newborn" by Marshall H Klaus.  Available to borrow by clients of Elemental Beginnings Doula Adelaide
Cover of Book "Better Birth: The Definitive Guide to Childbirth" by Lareen Newman.  Available to borrow by clients of Elemental Beginnings Adelaide
Cover of book "Birth: Complete preparation for your mind and body" by Rachel Broncher.  Available to borrow by clients of Elemental Beginnings Adelaide Doula
Cover of book "Juju Sundin's Birth Skills with Sarah Murdoch".  Available to borrow by clients of Elemental Beginnings Adelaide
Cover of book "Birth your Way" by Sheila Kitzenger.  Available to borrow by clients of Elemental Beginnings Adelaide
Available to borrow by clients of Elemental Beginnings Adelaide - "Breastfeeding Naturally" published by the Australian Breastfeeding Association
"The Business of Baby: What Doctors Don't Tell You, What Corporations Try to Sell You, and How to Put Your Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Baby Before Their Bottom Line
Book by Jennifer Margulis and Rebecca Jenkins
Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Adelaide Doula
"Birth with Confidence: Savvy choices for normal birth" book cover. Written by Rhea Dempsey.  Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Doula Adelaide
Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Doula "A child is born" book by Lennart Neilsen
"Families like mine.  Children of gay parents tell it like it is" by Abigail Garner.  Available for borrowing by doula clients of Elemental Beginnings
"How to heal a bad birth.  Making sense, making peace and moving on". Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Doula Adelaide
How to Heal a bad birth.
"Massage with Love" book Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings
"A modern woman's guide to a natural, empowering birth" Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Doula Adelaide
Natural therapies for childbirth book Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings
"Nighttime parenting. How to get your baby and child to sleep" by William Sears.
Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Doula Adelaide
"The no-cry sleep solution" book cover.  Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Birth and Postnatal Services
Breastfeeding a toddler book Available for borrowing by Adelaide doula clients of Elemental Beginnings
"The Oxytocin Factor.  Tapping the hormone of calm, love and healing"  book cover.  Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings
"The postpartum husband"  Practical solutions for living with postpartum depression.  Book Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings
The Postpartum Husband: Practical solutions for living with postpartum depression
"respectful parents, respectful kids"  Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings
"Sleeping like a baby" by Pinky McKay.  Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Doula Adelaide
Sleeping Like a Baby
how to improve communications and your relationship with your children.  book cover Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings
Talking with Kids
Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings "Toddler Tactics" book written by Pinky McKay
Toddler Tactics
"unspeakable losses.  Healing from miscarriage, abortion and other pregnancy loss" .  Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings Bereavement Doula Adelaide
Unspeakable Losses: Healing from miscarriage, abortion and other pregnancy loss
Water birth book Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings
Water BIrth
How to have well adjusted babies book.  Available for borrowing by clients of Elemental Beginnings
Well Adjusted Babies
Birthing a better way, 12 secrets for natural childbirth | www.elementalbeginnings.net
12 Secrets for Natural Childbirth - Better Birthing
The Positive Birth Book by Milli HIll.  A new approach to pregnancy, birth and the early weeks
Positive Birth Book by Milli Hill
Men at Birth by David Vernon. Real stories from Australian men about the birth of their children
*Men at Birth by David Vernon
Book cover: What's right for Me?  by Dr Sara Wickham.  Available for Adelaide doula clients of Elemental Beginnings to borrow
What's right for me? Making decisions in pregnancy and childbirth
Borrow "Inducing Labour - making informed decisions" 
For clients of Elemental Beginnings Adelaide Doula
Inducing Labour - making informed decisions
The Pregnancy & Postpartum Anxiety Workbook
Becoming Us - 8 Steps to grow a Family that Thrives
Birth Without Fear
Cheers To Childbirth
The Down to Earth Birth Book - a practical guide to natural birth
The First 40 Days - the essential art of nourishing the new mother
Group B Strep Explained by Sara Wickham
Homebirth in the Hospital - integrating natural childbirth with modern medicine
Lotus Birth by Shivam Rachana
The Breastfeeding Mother's Guide to Making More Milk
Planning A Baby?
How to Prepare for a Healthy Pregnancy and Give Your Baby the Best Possible Start
by Dr Sarah Brewer
The Postnatal Depletion Cure
Pregnancy Loss - Zoe Taylor
Real food for Pregnancy by Lily Nichols
Why Induction Matters by Rachel Reed
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    Kelly Harper is the owner of Elemental Beginnings Doula & Placenta Services in Adelaide.  She provides sleep consultancy, placenta encapsulation and doula services to families during pregnancy, birth and in their fourth trimester.

    Kelly Harper is a doula working with families around Adelaide to achieve a positive birth
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