Do Dads Dig Doulas?
During pregnancy and birth, one of the biggest decisions you will need to make is who you are going to have supporting you and present in your birth space. That decision includes the possibility of hiring a doula to provide information, resources, physical comfort and emotional well-being.
Often it is the mums-to-be from around Adelaide who will contact me first. We'll have a bit of a chat and then they'll take some time to discuss it with their partner. Sometimes I'll have a chat with the other parent at the same time and often their questions or concerns centre around what role a doula will play. Will I take over their role? Why do they need a doula if they have a midwife or obstetrician taking care of them? Why should we invest in a doula when I can support my wife myself?
To help answer these great questions, I thought it might be best to hear from those I have worked with so you can get first-hand information. I sent out some interview type questions for Dads to answer to hopefully make things easy for them.
Thanks to Simon for being the first Dad to share his thoughts on hiring Elemental Beginnings as their doula.
1. What were your honest thoughts when Kate first mentioned hiring a doula?
My first thoughts were very positive. I knew a bit about Doulas before we looked further into it.
I knew that Doulas are quite simply an added set of safe hands who have a lot of experience and knowledge with birth, labouring and after birth care. I knew that having a Doula present before/during and after the birth of our son was always going to be valuable source for us.
2. If you had any initial questions or concerns about working with a doula, what were they?
I had no concerns at all. We had an instant connection with Kelly so I (we) knew it was the right thing to do.
3. Could you talk a little about our work together, both during the birth and before and after, from a partner's perspective?
Reassurance was the key. This was the first time I was involved in the birth of a child. I was nervous but with all our preparation I was fairly confident. I was nervous that I was going to do or say the wrong thing, especially in labour. Kelly was gentle, and her presence was always felt. She knew when to be involved and when to step back. Her subtle guidance just reassured me that I too was doing a good job.
4. If your birth didn't quite go to plan, how did having me there or our prenatal sessions make a difference for you?
Our plan/preference was to have a home birth, surrounded by love and support instead of machines, bright lights and interference. The labour was very long (24 hours) and our son was a little stuck by the end of it. My wife’s heart rate was getting higher and higher so the midwives called an ambulance. We always knew that our ‘plan’ might not go perfectly so we were prepared for the hospital.
Having Kelly there, especially after the call was made to go to hospital, made me feel comfortable knowing that this is something that can happen and that everything was going to be ok. She reassured me that this was normal procedure and our midwives had my wife and son's health as their top priority - something that can be forgotten about in the heat of the moment.
5. How would you explain a doula to your best mate?
A Doula is someone who has a lot of experience in childbirth, someone who offers knowledge, comfort and ongoing support with child birth and after care.
6. What is your advice to other dads and partners who may be considering hiring me, now that you've experienced birth with a doula?
My advice is do it. It is a guarantee that someone will be working with you. Someone who has experience, a safe set of hands, and someone who will help you have a memorable and empowering birthing experience.
If you would like to talk to Simon further about his child's birth, he has kindly offered for me to pass on his email address. Just get in contact with me and I can forward you his details. Just click the button below and pop in your details.
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Kelly Harper is the owner of Elemental Beginnings Doula & Placenta Services in Adelaide. She provides sleep consultancy, placenta encapsulation and doula services to families during pregnancy, birth and in their fourth trimester.