Birth Can Seem Big and Scary

When you don't know a lot about birth except for what you've seen in the media or heard from well-meaning friends and relatives, it can seem big and scary at first.

I love working with clients who are keen to explore what a positive birth means for them, what the hurdles along the way might look like and how we can work through them together.

Even when Covid stopped me from being present in person to support clients in labour, Meg's story shows how the work we do together during pregnancy is invaluable. It is not just the pain coping strategies but also the more profound work of knowing what is important to you and advocating for it.
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I value Meg's strength and determination and the support from her partner to get the information they needed to make decisions as individuals in the face of typical systemic behaviour.  

Meg's Birth Story

​When I first found out I was pregnant, I knew I wanted to soak in as much information as possible. I'm a control freak by nature and from what little I already knew, pregnancy and birth were so unpredictable.

My partner and I decided to hire Kelly as our doula to help me with the pregnancy and birth and make the experience as positive and rewarding as possible. Early pregnancy was filled with intense morning sickness for me. I had a hard time dealing with it, especially while working full time.

During the first trimester, Kelly worked with us to create a mind map of what preconceptions we had about pregnancy and birth and what I hoped to achieve from our sessions and ultimately, my birth.

At first, I was very inclined to take a "do what I'm told and take all pain relief offered" approach. However, Kelly helped build up my confidence to where I felt I was a strong enough woman to try an unmedicated birth, which had always seemed impossible for me.

During my pregnancy, Covid-19 hit the world. This really threw a spanner in the works for me. Anxious by nature already, coronavirus made things much more intense. All of our hospital classes were cancelled with no online alternative offered, and the number of support people allowed at my birth was rapidly declining.  Kelly was a godsend during this time. We dedicated our sessions to practising advocating for what we truly wanted out of our hospital visits and care.

In my third trimester, I started presenting with high blood pressure during my hospital appointments. I had always been very anxious during them and coronavirus had only increased my anxiety levels.

The first time it happened, the midwife said, "last time this happened, the lady had to be induced immediately." Talk about stressful!
This appointment was the first time we experienced what it was like to be given a worst-case scenario straight away.

In the end, I think I had a total of 5 four-hour day stays to monitor my blood pressure. All of my test results were normal and my baby was completely healthy but the doctors were only concerned with what "could happen".

It "could" get worse
It "could" develop into pre-eclampsia
My baby "could" die.

The idea that I might kill my baby became somewhat of a common threat from the doctors, which was so difficult to deal with. One particular doctor noted in my files, "she believes she is not causing harm to her child." It was infuriating. I tried my best to stay calm and advocate for myself. With Kelly's guidance, I became better and better at it. I was speaking up, asking for clarification and demanding test results be given with evidence. I won't lie. It was the hardest thing I've ever been through. Once you start making decisions that are "against medical advice", you become the enemy, and we noticed an immediate change in the level of care we received.

I am forever grateful to Kelly for arming me with the tools to advocate for myself and speak up with confidence. In the end, I didn't develop pre-eclampsia, my baby was healthy, and I went into spontaneous labour at 39 weeks. I had a very quick labour and gave birth with no pain relief. It was the most intense experience of my life.
I am in awe of what my body did. My birth experience was amazing and the team of midwives were incredible. They were understanding and respectful of my birth plan. It was exactly what I needed after so many negative experiences.

I am so proud of myself because I worked so hard to have the birth I did.
I listened to my body and it rewarded me with the natural birth I'd always dreamed of.

I cannot thank Kelly enough for every bit of support and advice we received. I couldn't have done it without her.

Thank you so much to Meg and her family for sharing their story.

If heading into your birth confidently knowing how to advocate for yourself sounds like your jam, send me a message and we can get started with a package of prenatal sessions.

Free resources to get you on your way to a better birth:
10 Questions to Ask Your Care Provider
What is Informed Consent?
5 Birth Planning Tips